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Nara Smith, Mormon and most famous of the tradwives.

The Idealized World of Tradwives

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When I wrote my last week’s piece about the Ideal Woman meme, I did not realise that behind it stood an entire online movement known as trad wife, or trad wives, with millions of viewers. If you wonder what that is and research it, you’ll find examples such as this video. Apparently, tradwives are women who’ve decided to live a traditional lifestyle. According to them, traditional means the man earns while the woman takes care of the home. I’d like to speak about this aspect.

As an introverted woman, this idea sounds very appearling to me. Great! I won’t have to work, I won’t have to face unpleasant situations at work or worse, while looking for work. The entire exhausting process of work interviews will forever be behind me and I won’t be forced to see disagreeable people. I’ll simply take care of the home, I’ll cook, I’ll return to embroidery, I’ll read books, I’ll take care of children. But is this really a lifestyle accessible to anyone? Or is it a luxury of the rich which the rest of us can’t afford. Are we being a fantasy on social media that’ll never become a reality? 

Social media is full of influencers who call themselves tradwives. They try to convince their female followers to leave employment or college and become tradwives, because women shouldn’t work. These same women work as influencers and earn money preaching the gospel of tradwives not working. But here’s what happens when a woman has no financial security. 

What happens if in a given moment, the husband loses his job and can’t find another job in months, maybe even a year? A two-income family would suffer, but it wouldn’t be destroyed, because they could have a lean year and survive on the wife’s wages until the husband finds a job again (and vice versa). But if it’s a man and tradwife, who’s going to feed those five children from the meme? Isn’t that too stressful for both? 

Another problem which arises is that the man simply may not earn enough. With the post-pandemic inflation we’ve been having, prices constantly grow while wages stagnate and people cannot even live paycheck to paycheck anymore. Should the man seek out a second or third job and no longer have any free time to spend with his family? 

There are all sorts of men and women in this world. What if the tradwife’s marriage ends in divorce? A woman who has no financial stability, no marketable skills and doesn’t know how to even seek out a job can easily end up on the streets without a penny to her name. If the husband subsequently demands full custody of the kids, he could easily get it, seeing as how the woman has no means to take care of her. Even if the man decides not to seek sole custody, how’s a woman supposed to raise 5 children with no income? It’s possible to seek alimony, but this varies from country to country and may not be enough. 

What if the man dies? Same scenario as before, but worse, with no possibility of alimony. It puts women in an unenviable position, though it’s not much better for men. According to some research, more men watch tradwife videos than women, fantasising they’ll one day find such a perfect wife as presented in these videos. We rightfully criticise porn for giving us an unrealistic image of sex, but these videos do the same thing. Nobody looks as perfect as these women who present themselves as having perfect hair, wearing pretty dresses and loads of makeup at 5am in the morning, when they make their famous cereal from scratch. 

Another interesting fact that I came across is that a large number of tradwife influencers are of the Mormon religion. Among the most famous are Nara Smith and Ballerina Farm. A lot of happy tradwives but also unhappy former tradwives are also part of this religion, such as for example this one. After researching it for a while, I can conclude that this movement could be primarily a religious, Mormon movement. It explains the church and bible-related points in the ideal woman meme we discussed last week. 

We’ve had Mormons in my city as well for the last couple of years. They stand in the streets with their holy text in hand, walking two by two, either two men or two women, they harass passers-by and knock on people’s doors. However, they seem to have found a more effective way to spread their religion, by posting tradwife videos on social media. 

I’m not sure if tradwife is a religious movement or a lifestyle for the rich. Whichever it is, it appears that my earlier assessment was correct and that this is mostly a fantasy which is unattainable for most people. 

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That’s a negro with a White baby not a traditional wife. She’s a traditional mammy.

That’s Nara Smith, Instagram’s most popular tradwife.

“What if the tradwife’s marriage ends in divorce?”

Stop nagging your husband. Stop whoring around town. Don’t divorce him because you think you can do better. Then the marriage will last.

Kinda of a useless article honestly.Was hoping that it would address some of the criticisms that the previous one recieved but no dice.

Overall the whole tradwife meme isn’t a historic reality with a few exceptions being nobles and aristocrats.Regular women worked along side their husbands.

Besides that considering the current economic situation having a husband that brings all the income is very difficult.

I’ve got a trad wife and two kids and I’m poor. My income would be okay for a bachelor but not for a family of 4. But just because my wife cooks and cleans and raises my kids doesn’t mean she doesn’t work. Instead of starching her pretty floral dresses she runs home businesses selling baked goods, raising chickens and a garden to offset our expenses, and other hustles like leather repair. The critique of the ‘trad wife’ meme should be that these IG women are just a new kind of whore whose only apparent value is as as a trophy for a RW chad. Actual ‘trad’ wives are the economic blood of a corporate clan or family, and produce as much value as the husband, just within a different domain. But as usual the real version isn’t as sexy and doesn’t sell on tiktok

Last edited 5 days ago by jeff
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