testosterone salad

Jeelvy’s Keto Cookbook | Part 2 – Testosterone Salad

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Leafy greens, fatty nuts and of course, salted, cured meats. Those are the very simple ingredients that make a testosterone salad. Or as I hope it’ll one day become known, the seizer salad! Because it’ll help you seize the day. Get it? … I’ll see myself out.

Where to buy ingredients

Hit the farmer’s market. That’s your best bet for high quality ingredients. Supermarket-bought vegetables are just unacceptable. If you can’t find a farmer’s market, you can buy supermarket vegetables, but the salad won’t be anywhere near as good. To prepare a salad for one person, you’ll need the following:

  • One bundle of rocket (arugula) or baby spinach (or both)
  • 100g of walnuts or Brazilian nuts (or both)
  • Olive oil and vinegar to taste

Chop the greens into pieces. Place in a bowl and mix with the nuts. Pour the oil and vinegar. Toss the salad. And there you go. I usually throw away the green stems, but you may choose to eat them (they’re edible, after a fashion).

Now here’s where it gets interesting. That’s the bare bones of the salad, but this isn’t a starter or a side dish. It’s supposed to be a full meal. When I prepare it, I always add meat and cheese and due to the stability offered by the spinach/rocket and nuts combo, you can put many different meats in the salad. Here’s an incomplete list of all the meats I’ve included as part of the salad at one point or another:

  • prosciutto, pork and/or beef
  • rotisserie chicken breast (leftovers)
  • dried pork sausage
  • fried lamb chunks (leftovers)
  • mortadella

There are no rules when it comes to the meat – though I find that the beef prosciutto allows for the most luxuriant taste, whereas the lamb chunks and sausages make the heartiest meal. Now, on to the cheese. As with the meat, there’s a whole galaxy of cheeses to choose from for this salad. Personally, I often add mozzarella or cottage cheese, but feel free to add any cheese you fancy. Just remember to add the cheese – you need those calories and protein.

A further testament to the flexibility of this salad is the ability to seasonalise it. In the summertime, when we get humongous tomatoes which taste like paradise itself, I often add a tomato to the salad. When I’m not doing keto and they’re in season, I grate a carrot or beet into it. You can also add dried cranberries, but bear in mind that they’re not keto.

Nutritional profile

Hello fibre my old friend. Since keto is meat-heavy, this salad will get your bowels moving and likely give you three days of evacuation in a single sitting. But full disclosure: I cribbed this recipe from Art of Manliness, where they call it the Man Salad. Naturally, I tweaked the recipe a little bit. Added rocket, sometimes fully replacing spinach, added cheese, tried different meats and removed the broccoli because I’m neither a communist nor a homosexual. The Testosterone Salad is supposed to increase your testosterone levels. Of course, you’ll have to actually subject your body to some stress and physical activity in order for T generation to kick in.

Taste Profile

The unique taste profile of rocket is what really makes the salad. This is why I usually make it half-rocket even when I use spinach. The characteristic taste of rocket plays against the mild sweetness of the balsamic vinegar and the saltiness of the meat, especially if you’re using a salted, cured meat. Texture-wise, you’ll be alternating between crunchy nuts, leafy greens and chewy prosciutto, unless you went for a different meat, so it’s a complex experience. The fatty taste of walnuts or Brazilian nuts lingers after swallowing, so that’s the note it’ll end on. The ingredients are all very basic, but together they produce a sophisticated meal which is simple to prepare.

So there you have it, a quick and easy recipe. Altogether, it doesn’t take more than 10 minutes to prepare and if you added enough meat and cheese, it should be a full meal. The testosterone salad is perfect for a busy day.

Part 1 – Fried Innards.

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