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4 Reasons to Eat Garlic

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Ah, garlic. Allivum sativum. A savoury and flavourful addition to every dish with a formidable smell. The benefits of consuming garlic are many, even though it does produce its characteristic odour in the consumer. In this piece, we will go into the best reasons to eat garlic.

1. It adds spice to your dishes

Whoever said that white people don’t season their food has obviously either no idea of white people eat or doesn’t stop to consider garlic as a condiment. Some of the world’s most intense and most savoury tastes are attained by infusing garlic into olive oil or butter. Garlic goes well with meat, fish, cheese, bread and many other staples of cuisine. The entire Mediterranean basin boasts exquisite cuisines which depend on the extensive use of garlic. The unique smell and taste are what add magic to blessed Mediterranean nights. In Greek tzatziki, in Spanish tortillas, in Italian ragout and in French everything, garlic lends its amazing aroma and bounteous taste to every dish it graces.

2. It regulates your blood pressure

It’s a world full of stress out there. Also, it’s a world full of carbs, seed oils and alcohol out there. Sometimes you try to avoid them, but sometimes you indulge. That’s ok, it happens to the best of us. Sometimes we pig out on things that are unfit for human consumption. This, however, brings us no end of health complications and one of them is high blood pressure. Now, if your blood pressure is already a problem, garlic won’t heal you, but if you’re a healthy person who nevertheless suffers inordinate amounts of stress and possibly doesn’t have the healthiest of lifestyles, garlic will help prevent the development of chronic hypertension. Besides, it’s a lot more delicious than those ridiculously expensive big pharma “preventative” drugs they sell to otherwise healthy people.

3. It makes for great decorations

If you want to instantly give a house a “trad” look, just hang a garland of garlic bulbs somewhere in the kitchen. Of course, it goes best with wood-toned paneling, but any old background can be given a homey, rustic look when graced with the Stinking Rose. Ah, country living.

So, you’ve got your kitchen in order and hanged the garlic. Now you have to wait for the eager and large-breasted tradwife in a summer dress to arrive. They seem to flock to the rustic aesthetic for some strange reason. Well, you’re gonna have to marry her first, because this leads us to the final benefit of eating garlic:

4. It annoys women

Let’s face it, we all love trolling women, especially if they’re of the neurotic control-freak type. Women having a stronger sense of smell than men and being as a general rule grossed out by bodily functions will usually overreact to olfactory stimuli, especially those related to the human body. By eating garlic, we are presented with a middle option between generally inoffensive acts such as strategically placing worn socks around the house and dangerously escalatory manoeuvres such as the Dutch Oven. Women, I find, have a degree of objection when violently snogged by a man in full possession of garlic breath, regardless of whether they are large-breasted tradwifes or not.

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